i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
