my mouth tastes like poor choices
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
