somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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