so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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