i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
