Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
