I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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