Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
