I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
