"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
