Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
