**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
