let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
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