But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
