so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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