I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
