This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
