I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
