Having a random hookup so left but love u
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
