I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
