fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She's the barista slut.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
