you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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