we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
