whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
