I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
