Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
