What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
