I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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