i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
only you would photoshop your dick
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
