so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
