if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
