I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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