So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
