That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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