my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
