Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
