i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
