Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Randomize
