I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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