I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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