i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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