Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
