why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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