Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Randomize
