Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
