Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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