so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
