If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
