Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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