lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
