He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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