I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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