I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
