i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
