Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
