we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
