So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
