I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
