the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
