the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
