You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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