the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
